For some people, being an open book in a culture that doesn’t even read really turns you over down into a pit hole, making you feel forced to fit in. What is the real definition of a woman, to be even clearer, what makes us a woman? Are validations from other people really necessary as a woman?
Our society has a way of making women feel the need to constantly run when men can walk. In order to get half of what a man can earn, we have to deal with extremely excruciating criticisms, misogyny, and sometimes, the worst of all is the reality of other women constantly trying to drag us down.
Taylor Swift once said, “A man does something, it’s strategic. A woman does the same thing, it’s calculated. A man is allowed to react. A woman can only overreact.” One of the most brutally accurate representations of this quote comes around in my academic and professional life. In a misogynistic world, as women, we were brought up to think of ourselves having to be submissive. In a world shaped by men, women are made to believe that our prime role in this universe is to serve, and not to lead. Therefore, if you see a successful woman doing well in her career or academic studies and is able to lead, we tend to call her bossy. But take a look at men. If they excel in their fields, we glorify them and call them out to be self-made and an excellent leader. It’s unbelievably unfortunate to see that these harsh criticism that women constantly get not only come from men but fellow females as well.
As a woman, you say one right thing and be judged. Meanwhile, a man can say the same thing and earn applause. We can never lead, and we will always be one step below gender equality if we stay put on what we know is wrong. You can’t move forward without taking risks. And for women to women, it’s time we come together and collect our abilities to protect one another, to promote one another and to maintain that equality. I can understand the pleasure we may get from tearing down other women but does it give you permanent satisfaction? Does it ever occur to you that you could be the one in that woman’s position, whose reputation you just brutally butchered? It’s time to take a look around, much further than the culture we were brought up in. In the end, our choices define who we are, much rather than our backgrounds, our roots, our upbringing, etc.
I don’t get along with all of the girls I’ve made acquaintance with, and I will come clean and say I’ve said some horrible things about fellow girl-friends in the past, but change can happen and I’m aware that to an extent if we continuously pit each other against one another, we only create more room for men to undermine us while we struggle to go above the surface fighting one another. And so today, I pledge, to be an ally in women’s rights and an ally in gender equality, believing that women are not positioned above men, but rather their equal for one can’t live without the other.
So, to answer my own questions I say being a woman is much more than a labeled-gender given to us at birth. A woman is defined by her choices in supporting other women, in her leadership skills, in her abilities to do much more than doing what she’s told to do, in her effort to make a positive impact in the world, in her attempt to educate herself, and in the love she carries for herself and others. Feedbacks are necessary for self-improvement and reflection, but the only validation we will ever need comes from within because growth starts from within.
Le Journal De La Phangirl 