For quite some time now I have watched myself become an overly submissive person yielding to people’s expectations and idealism of who I am supposed to be whether as an individual or a particular figure in their lives. What I often miss in this process is that I have been slowly molded into various personalities that are not necessarily and authentically ‘me’, and as shameful as it is to admit that it is mostly due to my lack of ability in asserting boundaries it is also understandably my most conspicuous idiosyncrasy. Consequently, becoming a people-pleaser no longer becomes a tendency but a characteristic and almost everyone in my life has unconsciously taken advantage of that; everyone except Joe.
In ninth grade I came across a musical so matchless in its scriptwriting with quite a horrifying central plot but also a brilliant touch on the gentlemanly behavior of a meek flower shop assistant, Seymour, towards his co-worker, Audrey. Without trying to spoil much of the storyline, Audrey is a compliant of the finest degree. She struggles to place her opinions and views for fear it would upset someone, and her propensity for acquiescence has led her to be abused by people, mainly men. Over time, Audrey loses herself and adopts a belief that she was made to obey. It remained so until she met Seymour, who is unusually considerate of her.
Ordinary diegesis would plot this narrative as a cliché, but in the most realistic way Seymour is depicted as an unforeseeable presence in Audrey’s life much like Joe in mine. Seymour was never intended to be the hero in the scenario, yet he is for the most fundamental reason; he sees her for who she is as an elemental act of kindness. Much of the love and act of friendship Joe has provided for me are found in the mundane because he places his position and morality on compassion rather than guilt. This quality has made Joe immune to agonies rooted from the things he cannot control and thus, never defensive, condescending and controlling even if he would like to be.
For someone who finds love in affirmations, Joe selflessly serves my need for quality time by allocating intermissions during the day to ensure I feel understood and never felt poorly. He constantly affirms to me that the bad times are washed away and I never have to follow him blindly into anything. As strange and frightening as it is for me, this newly defined love was found, as I said above, in the mundane. Pushing through curfews to call, suggesting insanely disturbing yet hilarious jokes and innuendoes, jumping straight into the core of problems to prevent triggering anxiety, and standing firmly by my side despite the idle and nonsensical talks that have circulated for too long.
A paragon of both rationality and compassion, being loved by Joe might seem tedious on the surface but never feels prosaic nor pretentious to the say the least. In comparison, it feels like picking up the bruised fruits on the market just to make sure everyone finds a home, the perfect crunch of an exceptionally crisp chip, that first soul-deep stretch after a hike, tucking into a favorite hoodie, rubbing legs together under newly washed blankets like a child at the end of an exhausting day, first touch of the sun after a rainy season, getting hiccups from laughing uproariously, and coming home to your pet running to the door to greet you. It is an unpatronizing and emphasis of human decency.
Howbeit others that come after him may disagree, Joe has raised the standard of benevolence significantly. Above all however, while it is appreciable in every book ever written, what makes Joe extra special is not the long list of things he does for me and his loved ones but the way he remains consistent with them no matter the weather of the day. As if a living and breathing reminder to leave people better than when you first met them, he is unquestionably and undeniably my Seymour to Audrey.
Suddenly Seymour (Little Shop of Horrors, 1986)
Suddenly Seymour is standing beside you
Suddenly Seymour is here to provide you
With sweet understanding
Seymour’s your friend
Suddenly Seymour, he purified me
Suddenly Seymour showed me I can
Learn how to be more the girl that’s inside me
With sweet understanding, Seymour is my friend
Le Journal De La Phangirl 